Simply put, this man/boy is our American equivalent of a teenager Arrrrrrnawwwllddd. He owns the Rockhurst bench press record at a mind-numbing 435 pounds. His diet consists of Chicken of the Sea, and Chicken of the Sea only. He eats it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and little snack breaks. Simply put, he is a machine, an apex predator. He also possesses some of the most prehistoric thumbs this side of the Mississippi. What does this translate into? Boards. Stoops provides an excellent intimidation factor and physical presence in the paint. The only question of Stoops this season will be his continuing ability to show a desired commitment to the team. Last season, Stoops was unable to receive his White CYO Letter because he missed the games played during the Champions League Tournament and therefore did not play a part in the Dynasty's heroic trium. Thus he has been given the name "Diva Attitude"-because his carelessness last year is similar to singing divas, such as Mariah Carey, Enya, and my personal favorite Celine Dion. This year, Stoops has made a promise to shed himself of his nickname and make a full-fledged and full-hearted commitment to the Dynasty. We wish him luck.